


i'm yours (at least for a little while)

by tanabubbles



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Fake Dating, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29373423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanabubbles/pseuds/tanabubbles
Summary: “Ryan,” Shane breathed, breaking the kiss.Ryan wiped his mouth. “Y-yeah?”“I think-” he hesitated, as if unsure about what he was going to say. “-We should stop practice here.”Ryan swallowed hard. He didn’t want to agree. “Yeah,” he said quietly. He had to ask, though. “That-” he attempted, “-That was some pretty intense practice, buddy.”Shane laughed uncomfortably, sinking back into his original spot on the sofa. “We’ll fool them, alright.”Maybe they could fool themselves in the process.Or,Shane and Ryan found out there was an office bet going around. They take matters into their own hands.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 13
Kudos: 96
Collections: Shyan Shipping Society - Valentine's Exchange





	i'm yours (at least for a little while)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steeella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steeella/gifts).



> OKAY STELLA, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! It's been such a wonderful time getting to know you on the server. When I saw your prompt, I was hella excited because all your prompts were in my areas of interest. It's been so fun writing through this. I'm so happy I got to write something for you!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Ily <3

“Ryan Bergara, would _you_ like to earn some easy money?”

The man in question looked up from his laptop, startled by the weight of Shane’s hand on his shoulder. Warily, Ryan narrowed his eyes at the suspicious smile Shane had on his face.

“I’m- I’m not a hooker, Shane.”

It was Shane’s turn to look confused. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“It’s not like there’s anything wrong with hookers,” Ryan defended with a slight tint of red gracing his cheeks, “but I’m not gonna be a hooker, dude. It wouldn’t be worth it. I mean- how much are we talking? And like, would it be with… you? No, don’t tell me. I don’t plan on doing it, but to be sure… how much are we talking?”

Shane looked at him weirdly. “I’m not asking you to be a hooker, Ryan.”

“You weren’t?”

“No,” Shane said slowly.

“Well, good.” Ryan snorted. “I wasn’t going to accept either way. What’s up?”

Shane rolled his eyes. “Sure, Ry. Just be glad I have other important matters to discuss with you instead of talking about the fact that you were willing to be a hooker for the right price.”

“Just get to the point.” Ryan glared at him.

Shane had that suspicious smile again. It was something that looked like an apologetic grimace and that did _not_ bode well with Ryan at all. It was eerily reminiscent of looking at the guilty face of a dog who had an accident in the house.

“We’re friends, right?” Shane began. “The ‘ol Sasquatch and Bergemeister, a pair of pals peering into the paranormal! Yup, that’s us. Neat, right? Also, did you do something to your hair? It looks great today.”

It was Ryan’s turn to roll his eyes. “What did you do, Shane?”

“At this point, what haven’t I done?”

“Shane.”

“Alright, alright.” He sighed. “You know how a bunch of people here at BuzzFeed like to throw their hats in betting pools, right?”

Ryan didn’t like where this was going. “Right...”

Shane brushed his hand through his hair, a nervous habit that he picked up over the years. “And we both know that there’s big money over it sometimes. And I’m talking big enough to pay Los Angeles rent, Ry! You can buy a lot of cinema tickets and popcorn with that.”

Ryan felt apprehension creeping up his chest. “Where are you going with this, dude?”

“There’s this one bet,” he began slowly, “Where the winner can get three thousand dollars.”

 _“What?!”_ Ryan gaped up at him. “For an office bet?! What the hell, dude?”

Shane shrugged. “Apparently it’s one of the longest running bets. It’s been a few years, actually. A bunch of people joined the longer it took so now there’s a pretty penny to be earned.”

“How did I not know about this?” Ryan furrowed his eyebrows. “I mean, that’s a lot of money and it’s not new. Why hasn’t anyone mentioned it?”

“You see, Ry, common courtesy dictates that the subjects of a bet shouldn’t be in the know, you know?”

“Wait.” Ryan tensed. “What? It’s a betting pool for me?”

The hesitation slowly seeping through Shane’s features was enough of an answer for Ryan. “Yes, but also no. It’s, uh-” Shane had to look away. “-It’s about us.”

Ryan blinked. “Us? Is it about Unsolved? I don’t understand. We have a shitton of views and we mind our own business. I don’t see what they’d bet about.” 

It was the way Shane stared at him with impatience that gave him the first hint. The second hint came from the way Shane’s eyes pointedly looked at him and then to himself. The last hint tied it all together when subtly -as subtly as you can in a work environment- thrusted his hips and arms back and forth, looking like he was-

Ryan paled. “Shane!” He grasped his friend’s wrist to stop his lewd movements, more than a little mortified. “No- they think we’re fucking?!” He whispered like a grade schooler, like he’d get caught saying something he shouldn’t have.

Shane nodded solemnly. “It’s worse than that, Ry.”

“Worse?”

“They think that we’re dating.”

“What the hell gave them that impression?” Shane just stared at Ryan like he was a dumbass. Which, okay. Maybe he wasn’t the quickest today, but this conversation was a lot to take in. “I mean, I know the fans like thinking we’re all lovey-dovey and doe-eyed, but it’s different when our coworkers think so, too...”

“You are exactly right, Ry. That’s why we should play dirty.”

“Play dirty?”

“We take the money for ourselves and split.”

“But how? We’re the people they’re betting on. I’m not sure how you even got this information in the first place.”

Shane sighed softly. “Steven was prying about my - _our_ \- love lives a little and he let it slip that there was a betting pool. I was just about ready to walk away and pretend I didn’t hear anything until he told me the current possible winning prize. I was like, ‘wouldn’t it be funny if _we_ got the money?’ because it _would_ be funny and it would teach them a lesson.”

“So…?”

“ _So,_ Steven proposed that we’d pretend we’re dating and that we have been since September 2019. If we do that, Steven wins the three grand and we’d split it all easily. We can fake date for like a few months or something and then break it off like nothing happened. Clean. Easy. Simple.”

Ryan felt his throat dry at the thought. Shane spoke so quickly, but he did so in a voice that left very little room for argument. He was talking like a tall, intimidating white man that expected things to go his way because he was confident and logical. Ryan was too preoccupied to let that get on his nerves, though.

“Shane, you do realize that we’d have to look like an actual couple, right?” 

It was a foreign concept to Ryan. Despite what their fanbase might think, neither of them had entertained the idea of being together for obvious reasons. Shane was… a strange guy. In an endearing way. He looked like a man badly photoshopped to look longer and taller, but with a personality of an eccentric grandfather. 

In fact, Ryan had never envisioned Shane to be the dating type. Logically, he knew that Shane had dated around. It’s just that they’d both been too busy with their careers to build relationships. Frankly, Shane was too weird to date. 

The man in question scoffed. “Of course I know. I literally just said so.”

“That would mean having to like-” Ryan ignored the redness creeping up his face. “-Do couple stuff. Hand holding, hugging, kissing...” The stutter in Ryan’s voice as he said those words were pretty hard to miss. The two of them ignored it.

“Are you scared I’ll taint your purity?” Shane raised his eyebrows.

Ryan glared at him, annoyed at how nonchalant his friend was being. He was literally asking him to do a massive lie and for what? Money? “What do you even need the cash for?” It’s not like either of them were hurting for it.

Shane grinned down at him, a little too deviously for his taste and a little bit of something else that Ryan couldn’t identify. “It’s not for the cash, baby!” He leaned down and whispered conspiratorially in his ear. Ryan ignored the goosebumps invading his skin. “Isn’t it fun to win their games every once in a while?”

So maybe Ryan wasn’t arguing as much as a straight man should have. There has, and there always will be, something about Shane that makes him agree to anything he says, regardless of how stupid it is. Ryan wasn’t sure what it was and he didn’t want to think too deeply into it. 

Instead of disagreeing like his brain was telling him to, he opted instead to lightly pull Shane down by the collar of his flannel shirt and murmur his own words into his ear. “I’ve always been the competitive kind.” Was he crazy, or did Shane’s breath hitch? “Let’s do it.”

***

“So how are we going to do this?” Ryan sipped root beer as he more or less flung himself onto Shane’s couch. 

They were at Shane’s apartment as they always were on Fridays. It was movie night, but they chose to use it instead to talk about their plan. It was less suspicious to go here on their scheduled hang out than to sneak away to some dark corner of their office building.

As he drank, he let his eyes wander over Shane in the kitchen as he prepared them a huge bowl of popcorn. He ignored the soft feeling that was dancing in his chest. It was hard, though. Ryan always had a weakness for the tiny domesticities he and Shane shared. 

For the millionth time today, Ryan questioned why he agreed to be in this situation in the first place. A little part of him was curious, greedily hoping he could see the tender parts of Shane that he never showed anyone. Shane was the type of person who moved further and further away when you try to reach him. It would feel so good to break the glass wall that separated them completely.

Another part of him was a bundle of nerves. He was scared, as he always was, but for different reasons this time. _That_ itself was terrifying. He was throwing himself into the unknown and into Shane’s arms. Ryan was afraid and that made him excited.

Shane hummed in thought. “We gotta start subtle, you know?” He added more salt to their snacks. “We can’t just throw ourselves out there. It has to be as organic as possible. A slow build would be enough.”

“Oh,” Ryan sighed dramatically. “And here I thought we were going to smash faces next casual Tuesday.”

Shane made a disgusted face. “ _Too_ casual. No, thanks.” He shook his head, as if forcing himself to wave away the thought. “We can just start by hanging out even more.”

“But we already hang out so often.” Ryan looked at him incredulously. “Like, you are literally a pivot point of my career and you’re my best friend off camera. How much _more_ can we get?”

“We have to be lovers off camera, dumbass.” Shane dumped popcorn into their respective bowls. He walked towards Ryan and gave him his share. He sat down on the sofa with him and shoveled a fistful of popcorn in his mouth.

Ryan mimicked his actions and sighed contentedly. The taste was immaculate. “To be fair, most of the world thinks we’re already a thing. How much do we have to change, really?”

“The tiny details, Ry.” Shane said seriously. “Simple things. We go home together even if one of us gets off of work early. I can carry your things. You borrow my oversized jackets. We touch more often. You can mess up my hair. I can pinch your cheeks. We use each other’s pictures as phone wallpapers. It’s these things that make up a relationship, baby!”

Ryan couldn’t help but stare at Shane as he prattled on. All those things he mentioned were things that high school sweethearts did, not two adults with careers in media. Then again, real grown ups didn’t bet around and pretend to date for money. It was all fair game at this point.

The more Shane spoke about what was expected of them, the more Ryan was forced to actually envision it all. The act itself sounded a little cliche. He’d already done all those things and more with his past girlfriends, but there was a tiny part of him that felt tingly at the thought of doing it with Shane. Even if it were all a facade that was predetermined to crumble beneath their feet, it was too sweet of an opportunity to pass up.

It was… exhilarating, in a way. He always knew that he had a soft spot for Shane. He’d follow the man everywhere and could only hope that he’d do the same. There was something about how gentle Shane was and how differently he viewed the world. It was so refreshing, almost like a character in a book filled with the depths of the universe.

Thinking that way made Ryan cringe a little, but he knew that it was the truth. What he had with Shane was something that he was too scared to lose. He’s the kind of person to dive head first into relationships, whether it be platonic or romantic. He knew it would bite him in the ass as it always did. This time, though, he would suffer through a little ass biting if it meant Shane could have some fun.

Ryan brought his legs up on the sofa and hugged his knees to his chest. Inclining his head to the side, he saw Shane digging through the popcorn in his bowl. “Wouldn’t they be able to tell we’re faking it, though?” He felt his heart beat a little quicker when Shane looked back at him. 

“You’re doubting your acting skills, Ry?” Shane’s eyes lit up with mischief.

Ryan stuttered. “No, it’s- no. Not that.” He weakly glared back at his friend. “Neither of us like lying, dude. They’d see through us the second we breathe wrong.” Ryan didn’t acknowledge the disappointment he felt as he said those words.

“Point taken,” Shane said. He leaned back and looked up at the apartment ceiling in thought, rubbing his beard with his free hand as he did so. “What do you suggest we do, then?” 

As Shane waited for Ryan to respond, he put his long arms on the backrest of the sofa. Ryan felt himself blush and blushed even harder at the fact that he _did_. His mind couldn’t help but imagine him and Shane as a teenage couple in the 90s having a date in the cinema, where Shane would yawn and put his arms around Ryan’s shoulders.

Instead of digging into where _that_ came from, Ryan instead chose to cough and look away. “We could practice.” Before immediately regretting his words, his tongue betrayed him even further. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

He could practically feel Shane’s eyebrows rise to his forehead. From his side, he heard Shane let out a hearty laugh. It was mortifying beyond words. He wasn’t thinking straight when he made the suggestion. Apparently, thinking straight hasn’t been a trend in his life since agreeing to date his very male best friend. If there were truly a merciful god out there, he wished they’d just shut him up with tape or anything at all. It would be a blessing at this point.

“You got me there, Ry.” The mirth in Shane’s voice led Ryan to believe that maybe the few seconds of embarrassment was worth it. Shane stood up to wash his hands, leaving Ryan to finish his own popcorn that he barely touched. “How would we practice?” He heard Shane ask as he walked to his bathroom.

“Enough to get us comfortable with each other.” Ryan ate the food, too quickly to be casual. When Shane came back, he continued. He pointedly ignored his inability to look at Shane in the eye. “We can’t take each other by surprise. Weird moments might break the magic.”

“We haven’t even dated yet and we’ve already lost the magic? Maybe we should look into couple’s therapy.”

“First of all, even your _therapist_ is going to need therapy after talking with you. Second of all, the magic’s never gone when you’re with me, baby.” Ryan hoped that _that_ didn’t sound too douchey. “Lastly, I’m serious. We should practice. I panic under pressure.”

“Alright, alright.” Shane conceded easily. “Take the lead, Mr. Bergara.”

Ryan’s gaze snapped back to Shane. “Me?!” He stuttered. “Why me? You’re the one who got us in this mess!”

“But you’re the one who wanted to practice.” Shane snorted. “I don’t know about you, but practicing couple stuff is a bit off.”

“You’re telling me _I’m_ suggesting something that’s off?!” The noncommittal hum Shane replied with was all he needed. Ryan sighed in defeat. “Alright, whatever. We should do basic prep, at least.”

“You got it, bud.” Shane’s eyes were twinkling. “What do we do?”

What _will_ they do? The sudden control Ryan had over the whole situation gave him whiplash. Just five minutes ago, he was minding his own business and thinking _this might as well happen_. Now that Shane was expecting him to take the lead, he had to truly analyze what they had to do to actually accomplish their shared goal of fucking over their coworkers.

Ryan was silent for a while. Their friendship had spanned long enough for them to experience countless things together, but not everything. Definitely not things within the parameters of a romantic relationship. Even now, Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about this whole situation they’ve been putting themselves in.

He was sure he disliked it, but why wasn’t he stopping? Why was he excited to watch it crash and burn? There was a sense of safety in their friendship that they were mindlessly gambling away. What would they do if things went to shit? Would they be able to recover, or would they lose themselves in the process?

But it felt so _good_ to risk it all. For the first time in his life, Ryan could do whatever the fuck he wanted to his friend with little to no repercussions. Ryan was aching to sink his teeth into the forbidden apple. He could touch and hold and breathe him all in if he asked. 

“Basic backstory,” he finally said. “When, where, why, and how.”

“The when needs to be September 2019 because that’s what ‘ol Stevie bet on.” Shane shrugged. “Other than that, anything goes.”

“Why did he bet on September, by the way?” He didn’t remember anything big that happened then.

It was Shane’s turn to blush deep red, which concerned Ryan immensely. “It’s-” Shane laughed nervously. “-I’m not sure if you want to know, Ry.”

That made Ryan all the more suspicious. With narrowed eyes, he leaned closer to his gangly friend. “What is it, Shane?” He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“We were filming the St. Augustine Lighthouse episode.” Shane tried to play off cooly.

Ryan blinked. “What does-”

He realized it far too quickly for his taste.

Ryan jumped away from Shane in a flash, almost as if their proximity burned him. “Is it because of-” he couldn’t even say it.

“It is.” Shane nodded solemnly. “It is exactly what you’re thinking. What _were_ you thinking?”

“I don’t know!” Ryan insisted, an embarrassed heat making its way across his skin. “It just slipped, okay?” He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned, trying to fight away that specific memory.

“Who calls their friend ‘daddy’, Ry?” Shane asked incredulously. “Seriously, I’m not sure why we don’t talk about this more. It’s a Freudian slip if I’ve ever seen one!”

“Actually, I explicitly remember saying you’re _not_ my daddy.” Ryan weakly argued.

“The thing is, using the context of the episode, you telling the camera ‘not to say that he’s my daddy or something like that’ was incredibly unnecessary.” Shane deadpanned. “No one was thinking it, but then you actually said it. So now we’re thinking it and we’re wondering _why_ you were thinking it.” 

“It’s not that deep, okay?” Ryan was looking at anywhere else but at Shane. “I say weird things sometimes. Is that bad?”

“No,” he replied. “It’s how you reacted to yourself saying it that made it off. Even _you_ thought it was weird, which is saying something.”

“Alright, alright.” Ryan attempted to move on. “Whatever. It wasn’t my best moment.”

Shane laughed. “It wasn’t your best moment,” he agreed. “It wasn’t just that, though. It was the moment everyone was convinced that we had hot and freaky sex on the side.”

“Shut up, Shane.” Ryan snapped, more out of habit than anything else. “Moving on. Let’s just say that-” his body gave a vaguely noticeable tremor, “-We fucked starting around September because it was easy and convenient.”

“Where’s the love and intrigue in that?” Shane made a face that Ryan could only describe as displeased. “How about: we were star-crossed lovers divided by the career paths we took. We cherished the smallest tendrils of romance we could share until we could no longer handle the distance. _That’s_ when we fuck, Ry. Sweet, slow, and full of novella character development.”

Ryan tapped his pointer finger on his lower lip, thinking more into the topic than he probably should have. “What if I got scared while we spent the night at a haunted location and you had sex with me as a form of comfort?”

“Jesus!” Shane laughed and paused just as quickly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Wait, you’re being serious?”

Ryan snickered. “If it’s all made up, then we might as well have fun with it.”

“That’s the spirit, baby! Pun intended.” Shane laughed and Ryan pushed him lightly on the shoulder in annoyance. “So, are we going with that?”

“Sure,” he said. “Let’s tweak the details some more. So, We were doing an overnight thing at a location. I heard a creepy voice, I guess? So I booked it and ran out. You followed me and calmed me down via the classic dick method.”

Shane nodded. “Seems reasonable. So it became a casual thing after that?”

“Yeah. We kept it quiet because we didn’t want it to interfere with our jobs, but we spent a year thinking and decided that we were ready to make it go public.”

“So that’s our backstory.” Shane scratched the side of his neck nervously. “About the practicing thing… what do we practice exactly?”

Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “Basic couple shit that everyone needs to see to be convinced.”

“Like touching?”

“Like touching.”

“Like hugging?”

“Like hugging.”

“Like kissing?”

“Like k-kissing.” Ryan felt like the red on his face would never go away. Especially not tonight. “You get the point. Stop trying to make me spell it out for you.”

“Come here, then.” Shane opened his arms invitingly.

Ryan guffawed. “Chill,” he said with wide eyes. “We’re doing this now? Like _now_ now?”

“Well, yes.” Shane replied in a tone that suggested that the answer should have been obvious. “It’s why you’re here, right?”

“Hold on, let me prepare myself-” Ryan was unable to finish. Suddenly, Shane stood from his end of the sofa and walked closer to him. He stood in front of Ryan, making it necessary for Ryan to look upwards to see what he’s doing. “Shane…?”

“May I touch you, Ry?” Shane murmured softly.

Ryan’s breathing quickened and his heartbeat fluttered. “Yes,” he said far too quickly for his liking.

Shane’s large hands slowly approached him. Gently, his left hand cupped the side of Ryan’s jaw and Ryan leaned into it with a contented sigh and closed his eyes. His other hand lightly rubbed patterns on the expanse of his skin, sending shivers down his spine. Shane’s touch reached the nape of his neck and lowered itself further down to his modestly exposed collarbone.

Ryan swallowed the saliva that was building up in his mouth, but instantly regretted it when he heard Shane chuckle from above him. The two of them felt his Adam’s apple bob up and down from his reaction. It was incredibly embarrassing, but neither cared enough to stop.

“I’m going to go a little further, buddy.” Ryan’s eyes fluttered open at the words. He stared up at Shane whose eyelids were hooded and his mouth was parted. “Is that alright?”

“Yes,” Ryan replied breathily, closing his eyes to let the feathery sensations envelop him completely once more.

He felt Shane put his knee between his thighs, putting more of his weight on the sofa while still towering over Ryan. Shane pulled his hands away from Ryan’s face and opted to instead place them around his waist, flushing their bodies even closer together. Shane rested his forehead against the crook of Ryan’s neck as he let his fingers explore Ryan’s body, touching and burning everything to memory.

Shane guided Ryan’s arms to hook around his ribcage and meet along his spine. Shane greedily leaned into the embrace, engulfing Ryan completely in his presence.

Ryan could feel Shane’s breathing. In fact, he could feel everything that was _Shane_. He could smell the earthy fragrance of his body wash and shampoo. He could make out the prickling sensation of his beard against his shoulders. He could hear the hasty thrums of his erratic heartbeat through his thin shirt.

The most prominent thing Ryan could feel, however, was the hardness in his pants and the desire in his veins.

“Shane,” Ryan whispered with want. “I want-”

“Do you want me to kiss you, baby?” Shane mumbled against his hot skin.

“Please,” he mewled.

The feeling of Shane’s breathy chuckle left Ryan shivering, goosebumps invading his flesh. “You actually said please? If I knew you were this polite, I would’ve ravaged you ages ago.”

“Ravaged?” Ryan managed to tease. “What are you, a medieval knight with a superiority complex?”

Shane hummed nonchalantly. “I could be if you wanted.”

Before Ryan could mutter a response, he felt Shane lift his head up and kiss place feathery kisses on the side of his neck. Ryan sucked in a deep breath when Shane explored the rest of his skin with his kisses.

Shane hopped across his flesh, favoring the area beneath his jaw. Ryan, with the hands that were behind Shane’s back, tried to push his head further to add more pressure, but Shane wouldn’t budge.

Getting bored with his neck, he moved upwards. He grazed Ryan’s cheeks with his lips. Shane surrounded every part of him with a gentleness that he never even showed himself. The delicate touches trailed across the expanse of Ryan’s face, leaving him breathless and warm.

Shane pulled away, looking at Ryan’s eyes as he did so. The two of them were quiet, drinking in each other’s presence. Shane brought his arms up, letting one cup Ryan’s jaw and the other one hold the back of Ryan’s head. 

“Kiss me, Ry.” Shane softly prodded. “Kiss me like you want the world to know you’re mine.”

So Ryan did.

Ryan let go of his grip on Shane’s back to pull him down to his level by tugging at his shirt collar. He pressed their lips together in a frenzy, wanting to feel every part of him before the whole fantasy they built would wither away. He kissed him like he knew there was going to be an end. 

Before either of them knew it, it was over.

“Ryan,” Shane breathed, breaking the kiss.

Ryan wiped his mouth. “Y-yeah?” 

“I think-” he hesitated, as if unsure about what he was going to say. “-We should stop practice here.”

Ryan swallowed hard. He didn’t want to agree. “Yeah,” he said quietly. He had to ask, though. “That-” he attempted, “-That was some pretty intense practice, buddy.”

Shane laughed uncomfortably, sinking back into his original spot on the sofa. “We’ll fool them, alright.” 

Maybe they could fool themselves in the process.

“So,” Ryan said. “Now what?”

The two stared at each other.

***

Ryan was crossing his arms, indignant and a little put off. He was silent when Shane drove them to work. Shane was blithely jamming along with the radio as he pointedly ignored Ryan’s sour mood.

It was the morning after their practice together. Eventually, Ryan caved in to the awkwardness that engulfed the room and said that he’d go home. Before he left, he told Shane that he’d see him tomorrow. Shane took that as his cue to pick Ryan up the next morning so that they’d arrive together, like a _couple_. Ryan was too tired and confused with the whole situation to pass up on a free ride.

“Shane,” he tried calling his friend’s attention.

“You alright there, baby?” He and Shane had always made it a habit to call each other harmless little pet names. Now, though, hearing it dragged his soul out of his body.

“I’m obviously not.” He scoffed and leaned harder against the carseat. 

“Stop pouting,” Shane said calmly.

Ryan glared at him. “I’m not pouting.” He insisted. “I’m brooding. There’s a difference.”

“I’m not changing it.”

“But _why?_ ”

“Because,” Shane shrugged. “It’s cute.”

“Fuck you, dude.” Ryan buried his face in his hands in defeat. “I look dumb. Couldn’t you at least find a better photo of me?”

“This _is_ the best photo of you,” Shane said firmly. 

Ryan groaned, wondering if they could stop at a coffee shop to put some much needed caffeine in his system. “It’s embarrassing. Where did you even find it?”

“The Ryan Bergara tag on tumblr is full of mysteries and hidden treasure.” Shane grinned devilishly. “People make high quality gifs and screenshots of _anything_.”

“Oh, god.” Ryan stared at Shane’s phone hatefully. “What can I do to convince you to change your wallpaper?”

“Absolutely nothing, baby!” Shane exclaimed as he bobbed his head with the song playing on the radio. “Ryan Bergara in a red vintage swimsuit is something I want to live forever in my memory. Ergo, it will be my home screen _and_ lock screen picture.”

“I purged that video from my memory the minute it ended.” Ryan grumbled. “Couldn’t you be normal and get an Instagram post or something?”

“Nope.” Shane popped the ‘p’ as he spoke. “Where would the fun be if I did that? Honestly, Ry. Live a little.”

“What’s wrong with finding a good photo?” Ryan pulled out his own phone from his pocket and turned it on. “You know what? I’m going to find a really fucking good photo of you and then I’ll ust it. Just to rub it in your face.”

“Whatever you say, Ry.” Shane chuckled, more focused on the road than he was in their conversation.

Pettily, Ryan made a Tumblr account. He’d heard horror stories about this app. Frankly, he used to feel like the only thing scary about it was the awful coding.

Now, however, he really didn’t want to see what he’d find if he searched his or Shane’s name on there. He could live a happy life without that knowledge. 

Still, out of spite, he proceeded to log in and look up his friend’s name.

“Huh,” he reacted plainly. “It’s not… bad?” He scrolled through the page, trying to find something decent he could put on his phone. “Aha!” He exclaimed. “This’ll do. Suck it. Couple’s screensavers don’t have to be embarrassing.”

It was a picture of Shane in his pink collared shirt. The topmost button was undone, modestly revealing parts of his chest. It was a mouthwatering sort of tease, but Ryan would never say that out loud even with a gun pointed at his head.

It wasn’t just that, though. Shane was smiling in the way that made his eyes close with mirth. He wondered, with an unwarranted pang of jealousy spiking in his lungs, what happened during that shot that had Shane laughing like that.

Ryan was entranced by it. Shane had always been closed off by nature, even with his closest friends. Ryan respected that, but it got tiring when he was always on the outside looking in. Ryan, who had his heart on his sleeve, could never understand how Shane kept everything out of reach. 

Last night made it all the more confusing.

Ryan wasn’t sure if they’d ever talk about last night. It was exactly what he’d asked for, but in an entirely different direction that he’d anticipated.

Everything went by far too quickly for his liking, and ended far too poorly for it to be laughed off. It was the morning after, but the two of them had the silent understanding to brush away whatever last night was.

Ryan himself didn’t know what to make of it. What’s worse was that he didn’t know what Shane thought about it. Although Ryan had been the one to initiate the whole fiasco, it was his friend who took it somewhere beyond what was strictly necessary.

So, like two mature adults facing a problem, they had to do what they could to fix it.

Apparently, the immediate solution was to pretend nothing happened.

“Alright, alright.” Shane snorted. “No need to get a boner about it.” That hit a little too close to home.

“Shut up, Shane.” Ryan turned his phone on and off just to look at the screensavers. There was a dumb smile on his face

Suddenly, Shane offered his hand to Ryan. He was still looking at the road, but he held out his palm like he was waiting for something.

“You can look at my phone later,” Ryan said with a glare. “You’re driving, dude. A pretty face like mine can’t die in a car wreck.”

“What?” Shane managed to look at him with confusion. “No, you idiot. Give me your hand.”

“Huh?” Ryan stuttered. “Why the hell would I do that?”

“It’s what couples do.”

“It’s not what _fake_ couples do,” Ryan retorted. “There’s no one around to see. What’s the point.”

Shane responded slowly, like Ryan was a child who needed help with homework. “It’s for practice, Ry.”

“Practice,” Ryan copied sourly. “That- that didn’t go well the first time.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded strained.

“We can practice practicing, then.” Shane wiggled his fingers invitingly. “It’s either you take my hand or I take you to a bear sanctuary. Your choice, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby-” Ryan blushed.

“What did we talk about pet names, Ry?” Shane asked sternly.

Ryan groaned and finally interlaced Shane’s hand with his. Shane was a big guy and therefore had big hands… and maybe other big things. Ryan, who had exclusively dated women, was unfamiliar with being the tinier one. Shane’s hands were much larger than his and, weirdly enough, it felt comforting.

“Nothing, baby.” Ryan snorted. “Nothing at all.”

They went on the rest of the ride in silence, hand in hand. The whole situation was odd, but it fell together perfectly. It was like clouds finding their spot in the afternoon sky. 

The trip ended faster than Ryan wanted it to. Before he knew it, Shane parked his car and they were walking inside the BuzzFfeed building.

As they walked, Shane sneakily looped his right arm over Ryan’s shoulders. It closed the safe distance that regular friends had. Ryan’s head lightly bumped Shane’s body and he never felt the ridiculous extremities of their height differences until now.

Everyone they passed by looked at them and scurried off, whispering in shock and excitement. Shane took it all in one stride, smiling pleasantly and nodding at anyone he made eye contact with. Ryan, on the other hand, was looking at the floor and praying the red on his cheeks would fade away with time.

When they were only a few meters away from their desks, TJ stopped them midway. The pair paused. They looked at him, Shane with nonchalance and Ryan with fear.

“So,” he began bluntly. “What’s going on here guys?”

Shane and Ryan looked at each other quickly. That was their cue.

“Just two bros being bros, of course!” Shane laughed as he spoke.

Ryan lightly punched his side. “You’re an idiot,” he said with a tiny smile.

TJ rolled his eyes skyward. “Aside from the fact that there isn’t enough space between you two for Jesus, we’d like to know if this is an actual thing that’s happening.”

“We?” Ryan pretended to be confused. “Who’s we?”

TJ coughed. “Nevermind,” he said. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“Shane burnt the eggs he was cooking for me this morning and decided to make it up to me by lugging me around.” Ryan put his free arm on Shane’s chest and looked up at him adoringly, looking every bit like the female love interests in superhero posters.

“He made you eggs?” TJ’s brows raised in surprise. 

“Ryan stayed the night because he’s clingy.” Shane shrugged.

The man in question glared up at his friend _-er_ , partner. “It’s because the pipes at my place are being fixed.”

“Wait,” TJ began, “Is this what the email was about?”

“We’ll find out later, buddy.” Shane spoke.

“Is this the personal news you’re talking about?!” TJ looked bewildered and a little too invested. Shane looked at the two of them, confused.

Shane smiled mischievously. “We’ll talk about it later at the bar.”

TJ narrowed his eyes. “If you say so.”

“Yeah.” Shane nodded grimly.

“Yup.” Ryan added to feel included. He’ll ask Shane about this later.

The three were quiet when, coming from behind them, Eugene walked by with coffee in his hands. He paused, looking at Shane and Ryan.

“Hi-” Ryan tried to say.

“Did you guys fuck? Is that what this is? You’re fucking?” He waved his hand at them.

“Eugene!” Ryan exclaimed, subconsciously burrowing further into Shane’s side.

Of course, calm and collected Shane just winked at their friend. “We don’t kiss and tell, baby!”

“We prefer the term ‘in a relationship’ and not- not fucking. No. Not that.” Ryan asserted.

“Since when?” TJ asked innocently.

“Well, we were a thing around September 2019.” Shane explained calmly. “We just recently decided to go public.”

At the words ‘September’, TJ and Eugene groaned.

“Damn!” TJ slapped his hand on his forehead.

“Is there a problem?” Ryan cocked his head to the side, a little excited at the scene playing out before him.

Shane was right. This was _fun_. Watching them lose was slowly becoming a guilty pleasure that Ryan was allowing himself to indulge in. It was exciting watching them scurry like mice. 

They were playing checkers, but Shane and Ryan were playing chess.

“Nope. No problem here,” Eugene said. “Look at the time. We better get moving! Teej, let’s go.” The two walked away briskly, muttering together.

“Hey, Shane?”

“Yeah?”

They reached their desks. As he swiftly unpacked his things, he kept stealing glances at Shane. He tried finding cracks in the facade, but there were none. Shane was a good liar and Ryan didn’t know what to feel about that.

“What email was Teej talking about?”

“Oh!” Shane had the decency to look flustered. “Did I not send it to you?” He paused, as if truly wondering.

“Cut to the chase or I’m sending you to a world of pain, _baby_.” Ryan huffed, crossing his arms together.

From the corner of his eyes, he noticed that people would stare at them a little bit longer than they should have. There were passing whispers surrounding the pair. News spread fast, apparently.

“It’s an invitation for a personal announcement,” Shane muttered. “Nothing special, really. Just me talking about my life.”

“Shane,” Ryan hissed, poking Shane’s side.

“Okay, okay. No need to be snappy.” Shane rubbed the newly tender spot Ryan had hit. “I invited friends to a bar for drinks.”

“And what’s this personal announcement, hmm?”

“That we’re- that we’re _very_ in love with one another.” Shane grinned sheepishly.

“Damnit, Shane!” Ryan stubbornly blamed his blush on his irritation. “When were you going to tell me this? Hell, when did you tell everyone this?”

Shane laughed uncomfortably. “I was going to tell you today,” Shane said.

“And?”

“And...” Shane raised his hands in defense. “I emailed everyone last week.”

“ _Last week?!_ ” Ryan whisper-yelled.

Shane awkwardly brushed his hair with his fingers. “I’ll be honest, I forgot to tell you about my plan. I kept putting it off because you were busy and I didn’t know how to bring it up. I only realized yesterday that I haven’t told you about it yet.”

“Our co-workers knew before I did?!” Ryan stared at him in disbelief.

“Not really. I just told them I wanted to share something big in my personal life… no one knows it’s you.”

“What if I said no? What would you have done then, genius?”

“Baby,” Shane said with a smug grin, “You always tell me yes.”

“You’re impossible!” Ryan put his face on the table, unable to fight the warmth covering his face. He didn’t even try to disagree with what Shane just said.

Shane used his one hand to pat him apologetically on the thigh. “I’m impossible, but I’m yours, baby!” Ryan felt Shane’s hand hesitate. “...At least there was a little while.”

There was a strained smile on Shane’s face, almost sad. Ryan looked at him and swallowed hard. There was a tightness in his heart and he knew it was Shane’s fist that clenched it so arrogantly.

The two went back to work in silence.

***

The music pounded in Ryan’s ears. He did his best to drown it out by letting the burn of his drink slide down his throat. Ryan hoped that, by some miracle, the alcohol would make him believe that none of this was real.

Everything was becoming too real. The weight of Shane’s arm around his shoulders encased his body and mind. He couldn’t move and he didn’t want to. Ryan was desperately clinging to a fantasy that would eventually slip away from his grasp. 

In the span of the day, pretending to have feelings for his friend turned very quickly into realizing he had actual feelings for his friend. It was difficult, especially with the timeframe he was working with. He could barely process everything, too high on the gentle kisses Shane would sometimes place on the top of his head.

He wanted this all to be real so badly. A childish part of him was ready to cling on to Shane and beg him to stop playing pretend. Another more bitter part of him wanted to get mad at him, to blame him for starting something he had no intention of finishing. He didn’t act out on either impulses, his body too numb from Shane’s touch.

He envied Shane. He envied him for never throwing himself headlong into anything. He always had a foot through another door, ready to walk away when he wasn’t interested anymore. Shane was always out of his reach.

Ryan had never had that kind of privilege. He put his whole heart in everything he did. It was utterly exhausting, never knowing when or how he’d find himself falling. He kept running around and hoping that he wasn’t leading himself to a crash.

“Ryan over here is a beast at planning dates!” _How would you know?_ “There’s never a dull moment with him. I’m always on my toes. Will I get a movie and popcorn? Dinner with wine? Or maybe I’ll be having a hula-hoop battle with a petting zoo’s goat. Who knows? Not me!”

“At least I’m not taking you to haunted locations anymore,” Ryan added softly. He didn’t want to seem _too_ out of it.

“Please,” Shane said. “Unsolved is like our scheduled lil’ dates together, baby! Just… with a lot of dust and screaming.”

Ryan snorted, snuggling deeper into Shane’s side. “Fear is one hell of an aphrodisiac.”

“I still can’t believe it!” Teej exclaimed from the other end of their booth, drink in hand. “You and Shane? It was something we never actually thought would happen.”

“ _You_ thought it wouldn’t happen.” Katie tutted. “Everyone else was convinced they made out at the sets.”

“We wouldn’t do that,” Ryan told her pointedly. “It’s disrespectful to the ghosts.”

“Disrespectful to the-” Shane looked at him incredulously. “ _That’s_ why you won’t go near me when we film? Because you’d alarm the ghosts?” He groaned. ”I can’t help but feel like that’s disrespectful to _me_.”

“Your face is disrespectful.” 

“Very mature, Ry.” Shane shook his head with a small smile.

Their table dissolved into other conversations now. The novelty of their relationship seemed to fade away. Everyone enjoyed themselves with the food and copious amounts of alcohol that they ordered for themselves.

In between it all, Ryan spotted Steven subtly distancing himself from the commotion. He was sitting on Shane’s other side. Ryan saw him sneakily press a small white envelope into Shane’s grasp.

A thousand dollars. That was a lot. It was really big, actually. He could get himself some cool sneakers or treat himself to Disney World. If he were feeling practical, he’d throw it in his savings account and then proceed to forget its existence entirely. It was a lot of money.

It just… wasn’t enough.

“I’m gonna dance!” He heard Shane exclaim. He wiggled his arm away from Ryan’s shoulder. “Katie looks like she’s having the time of her life over there!” He vaguely pointed at their friend’s direction. “Do you think she’d have a dance battle with me?”

“How drunk are you?” Ryan asked suspiciously.

Shane laughed and scooted away. “Drunk enough to contemplate doing the splits for a win!” He cheekily pointed at his cheek. “A kiss for good luck?”

“W-what?” Ryan stuttered.

“Boyfriends kiss each other on the cheek before they dive into battle.” Shane pouted. He offered a side of his face to Ryan, waiting patiently for him to do his part.

Ryan relented. He pecked Shane on the cheek and watched him join Katie on the dancefloor. He was a little sluggish in his movements, making Ryan question just how many drinks Shane had already ingested.

“Want some nachos?”

Ryan jumped, too distracted to notice Steven appearing next to him with food in hand. He sat himself next to Ryan, making himself comfortable on the cushioned booth of the bar.

“Uh, sure.” Ryan popped some in his mouth, sighing at the savory taste. “What’s up?” He asked uncomfortably. Steven was his friend, but he hadn’t really talked to him about this whole fiasco yet.

“My savings.” Steven grinned boyishly. “Thanks for agreeing, by the way. I turned my thirteen bucks into a thousand.”

Ryan crossed his arms. “Don’t thank me when you get a crippling gambling addiction.”

Steven laughed. “Yeah, yeah.” When he looked at Ryan in the eye, there was a more serious expression on his face. “So,” he began, “you and Shane?”

“We’re good,” Ryan responded simply. 

Steven hummed. “I don’t doubt it.” He ate some nachos. “There’s a reason we had a betting pool, after all.”

“You guys are just crazy.” Ryan rolled his eyes, wanting to move away from this conversation.

“Maybe we are,” Steven said, “but there’s a method to the madness.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It didn’t come from nowhere, Ryan.” Steven rested his head on the palm of his hand, looking at Ryan closely. “No one bets on a three-legged horse.”

“That’s _exactly_ what you guys did.” Ryan glared. “We’re not- we’re not really dating.” Ryan muttered under his breath.

“Does that make you sad?” Steven asked innocently.

“No!” Ryan exclaimed, cringing at how fast he answered. “No. Why would it?”

Steven shrugged. “You aren’t exactly ecstatic about it either.”

“I’m not,” Ryan agreed, “But that could just be because I don’t like lying.”

“True.” Steven smiled. “What about the lying don’t you like, Ryan?”

Ryan scrunched his eyebrows together. “Huh?”

“Do you not like lying or… do you not like what you’re lying about?” Steven’s head was tilted to the side, looking like a curious parent.

“Is it not enough that I don’t like lying?” Ryan shifted uncomfortably.

“Sure it is.” Steven nodded benignly. “I just wanted to see if we’re all on the same page here. Or if we’re even reading the same book.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ryan narrowed his eyes.

“Nothing, nothing.” Steven waved him off. “Anyway, you better get Shane out of this bar and drive him home. He looks like those huge floppy balloon guys you see at malls.”

They both looked at the dance floor to see Shane barely keeping himself balanced. His movements were sloppy and he looked too drunk to function.

Ryan grabbed both of their things. “I’ll see you at work, Steven.” He muttered and left before he could hear his friend reply.

He walked closer to his ‘new boyfriend’. Ryan tapped Shane on the shoulder. When he didn’t get a reaction, he grabbed Shane’s forearm and hauled him away from the center of the party. 

“I’m taking you home, buddy.” Ryan explained, giving Shane his things and making him wear his coat. “I didn’t even see you drink that much. You’re pretty lightweight, huh?” He tried to joke.

“I’m drunk on your love, baby!” He almost shouted. Ryan jumped when suddenly, Shane was pulling him into a very tight embrace. Ryan didn’t dare move.

“I know you are,” Ryan sighed. “I still need to get you home. Obi will kill me if you wake up in Tennessee with a revenge tattoo or something.”

“Alrighty then.” Shane pulled away and now Ryan was cold. He moved crookedly and Ryan was forced to support him with his own body.

The two walked to Ryan’s car. Shane let Ryan push him inside without much of a fuss. The two buckled up and pulled out of the parking lot.

When the car moved, Shane began to speak. “Hey, Ry?” He still sounded drunk.

“Yeah?” Ryan kept his eyes on the road.

“Do you like me?”

“Of course I do,” Ryan affirmed. “You’re my best pal, Shane. Nothing can change that.”

Shane hummed, contemplating. “I guess so.” He was looking out of the window. “How _much_ do you like me?” 

“What are you, an elementary kid?” Ryan evaded the question.

“It’s just-” Shane slurred, “-You’re a good actor, you know? And I can’t help but feel like… I dunno.”

“I think I haven’t been lying very well, to be honest.” Ryan swallowed, his throat dry. His hands were clammy as they gripped the steering wheel.

“I think that you aren’t pretending as much as you say you are,” Shane said softly.

“Shane...” Ryan couldn’t look at him. He knew that if he did, he’d put himself in a position that he’d never be able to leave.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I- fuck, Ryan. Don’t listen to me. I dunno what I’m talking about.” He rubbed his tired eyes with his long fingers.

“It’s alright, buddy.” Ryan offered. 

“A tiny part of me wants us to stop pretending, you know? I feel like shit for… for using you. I didn’t think doing this would be so hard to swallow.”

“W-what do you mean?” Ryan kept stealing quick glances at his friend while still focusing on the road.

“I’ve liked you for the longest time, I think.” Shane breathed in heavily. “Too long. The worst part is that I’m still hoping that I can make you like me back. I’m trying to get over you, but now I dragged you into that stupid bet. The stupidest thing I’ve done is giving myself hope. That shit hurts.”

“Why’d you do it, then?” Ryan whispered.

“I wanted to see what it would feel like,” Shane said quietly, “To be with you. Even if I know we’re playing pretend.”

Far too quickly, they arrived at the front of Shane’s apartment. Ryan jerked to a stop and unlocked the doors. Shane, it appeared, sobered up quicker than both of them expected. He gave Ryan a shy smile before getting out of his car and walking to his apartment.

***

It’s been a week since the bar incident. Ryan wasn’t sure if Shane remembered what happened. They didn’t speak about it and neither brought it up.

The two were alone in the breakroom one day. They were sitting by a counter, chugging down coffee and indulging in some snacks.

“You’re killing me, baby!” Shane groaned.

“Grow up,” Ryan said. “You bought me the donuts. I’m eating _all_ of them.”

“I thought you’d actually share. You know, like a kind person.”

“Who said I was a kind person?”

“... Like a good boyfriend.”

“I’m not a good boyfriend.” Ryan muttered. “I’m not even a real one.”

Their bantering ended abruptly from there. Ryan sighed and handed Shane a donut. His taller friend ate it gratefully, but without the enthusiasm he had built up

***

Two weeks had gone by. They decided to go to a mall together.

“I just think that matching sweaters would be cute.” Shane insisted.

“It’s annoying,” Ryan said. “People will think we’re _that_ kind of couple.”

“So?” Shane asked glumly.

“We’re putting on a show for them, Shane. Not for us.”

“Oh.” Shane scratched the back of his head. “Matching hats?” He suggested hopefully.

“No. Why not shoes? That would look cool.”

“No one looks at people’s feet, you big weirdo. Everyone’s forced to look at hats, though!” Shane replied cheerfully.

When they went back to their respective apartments, they were carrying shopping bags filled with sweaters, hats, and a few shoes.

***

A month later, they found themselves getting ready for a photoshoot.

The two were already in their costumes. Ryan was in a posh Victorian policeman uniform and Shane had a loosely fitted white dress shirt and trousers on. 

The photographer approached the two of them at the studio. “I read through the concept proposals,” he said, “They’re pretty great. It’s refreshing compared to the old promo pictures.”

Ryan nodded. “We decided to be bolder after a few conversations.”

“The fans are going to love this.” Shane smiled at him.

“Congratulations, by the way.” The photographer remarked offhandedly.

“Thanks,” Ryan said. “Should we start now?”

Shane nodded and the two walked over to the set that was filled with cheap props. As per their concept, Ryan grabbed Shane by the cuff of his shirt and pushed him slightly off the edge of the makeshift balcony. He leaned close enough to feel each other’s breath on their skin.

Every once in a while, Shane would laugh and kiss Ryan on the lips.

***

It didn’t take much to shatter Ryan Bergara.

In fact, recently he had been at his worst. His anxiety was at an all time high, he could barely get any sleep because of his thoughts, and keeping up with the lies upon lies that they’ve piled up for three months was becoming too much.

Of course, that’s not what broke him.

It was when Shane had first told him “I love you” that fragmented his heart into pieces.

“I mean it,” Shane had told him distantly. There was a wonderfully bright bouquet in his arms and a box of Ryan’s favorite donuts. They were all lovingly wrapped in soft pink paper and tied together with beige ribbons. “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

“W-what did you say?”

“I love you,” Shane repeated. He sounded quieter this time around.

“No, you don’t.”

“Ryan-”

“You _don’t_ , Shane. Stop lying. Nobody’s here to watch.”

It was true. It was after hours and they were in a dimly lit parking lot outdoors. They had left work and Shane suggested they go on a trip to a small isolated forest area just in the outskirts of LA. They were walking to Shane’s car when he suddenly pulled out the flowers and treats from the backseat of his car.

“Ryan,” he said gently. “I mean it.”

Shane tried to approach him, but Ryan flinched and stepped back. Ryan’s heart was pounding and there wasn’t any air in his lungs.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Ryan felt the first tear slip down his eye and he hastily wiped it away with the back of his hand. “I don’t want to pretend.”

Shane hastily put the gifts back in his car before getting closer to Ryan. He looked so handsome beneath the moonless sky. Ryan wanted to breathe him all in and drown himself in the process. He wanted him so badly that it hurt.

Ryan covered his eyes with both of his hands, looking like a lost child. He didn’t pull away from Shane, greedily pushing his body flush against his. Despite it all, he still felt the needy desire to surround himself with all of Shane.

Shane cradled him in his arms. He was warm and he towered over Ryan as he always did. Shane rested his head on Ryan’s head and circled his arms around his shoulders. Ryan’s face and hands were pressed against Shane’s chest.

“I’m not yours.” Ryan hiccuped pathetically. “I keep hoping that someday I can be. I’d wait forever like a dog if you’d allow it. It’s just-” his breath hitched, “-I don’t know if there’s something for me to wait for.”

Shane rubbed soothing patterns along his back. Although Shane’s breathing was slow, Ryan could vaguely feel the thudding of his heart. “How long have you been thinking about that, Ryan?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged tiredly. There were bitter tears flowing down his face, but his arms were now lifelessly on his sides. “A bit after we started pretending, I guess.” He sniffed.

Shane cupped Ryan’s jaw with both of his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the wet trail that invaded Ryan’s cheeks. He made sure that Ryan would be unable to look away from his eyes.

“I never pretended, Ry.” Shane sighed softly. “Not even for a minute.”

“I- I kinda know that.” Ryan admitted with a swallow. “You just never _said_ anything. It feels like I’m never going to be able to reach far enough to touch you. You were happy playing pretend.”

“I’m happy with you, Ryan. Not with lying.” Shane brushed a stray lock of hair that fell on Ryan’s forehead.

Ryan’s lips quivered. “Stop it.”

“Ry...”

“Shane, _please!_ ” He pushed away from Shane’s arms, suddenly feeling a coldness that ran deep beneath his skin. He hugged his arms around his body, trying to not look as pathetic as he felt. “I don’t know what’s real or fake. I don’t. I don’t!” Ryan’s body shivered at the sound of his voice.

“I love you.”

“Do you, really?” Ryan muttered sarcastically, the harshness in his tone hard to miss. “Pardon me for not noticing.”

“I love you, Ry.” Shane repeated. “More than you know.”

“I think we just established that I _don’t_ know-”

“It’s hard being your friend.”

“I’m-” Ryan stuttered, hurt. “I’m sorry?”

Shane shook his head. “It’s hard because I want to ruin our friendship.” Shane took a step closer. “I want to crush it and break it and tear it apart. At least-” his voice cracked, “-At least until I can make you love me back.”

Ryan dug his nails into his palms. “What makes you think I don’t love you?”

“You never said it back.”

Frustratedly, Ryan began to weakly punch Shane’s chest with his knuckles. Shane was still as he allowed Ryan to do as he pleased.

“I’ll never say it back to someone who might be _lying_ to me.”

Ryan continued to hit his chest.

“I love you.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you.”

“Shut up!”

“ _I love you._ ”

“ _Shut up!_ ”

Before Ryan could react, Shane grabbed his right wrist and pulled Ryan towards him. Shane kissed him fervently, relishing the feeling of Ryan’s soft lips against his own.

Shane’s kiss was tender and full of passion. He could barely let Ryan breathe. He kissed him slowly, as if begging time to stop. Unsatisfied, he gently placed his hand at the back of Ryan’s head and pulled him closer. The kiss deepened and the two moaned in hungry satisfaction.

It was Shane’s way of conveying his feelings. He poured his soul out, hoping Ryan would mold him into the man he desperately wanted to be.The kind of man that deserved to have Ryan Bergara fully and completely.

Shane pushed Ryan against the side door of his car. Their eyes were closed and their breathing was labored. It was getting harder to ignore the tightness that they both felt in their pants.

Frustratedly, Shane unlocked the door to the backseat and pushed Ryan inside. He followed and shut the door behind him. There was hunger in his eyes when he undid Ryan’s belt and pulled down the waistband of his pants.

“In a car? Really?” Ryan tried to tease.

Shane chuckled. “Just enjoy the ride, baby.”

“Puns aren’t sexy-”

Ryan let out a shivering breath when the cold night air hit his member. He was leaning against the other end of the car while Shane was playing with his balls and stroking his cock up and down.

Watching Shane lewdly bent over like that got him especially hard. Ryan had often fantasized about where and when they’d fuck. He never thought he’d actually get to do it in a car. A hot wave of desire shot up his body and his cock twitched in compliance.

Shane took that as his cue to swallow him whole. Ryan jerked his hips upwards. The feeling was _spectacular_. Shane’s warm mouth encased him completely and his wet tongue lapped circles around him. Ryan pushed Shane a little farther down with his hand, asking him to swallow him even more.

Ryan thanked whoever was out there that they decided to park in a very isolated spot without any surveillance. He couldn’t prevent himself from moaning out loud. Not when Shane was doing wonderful things with his mouth.

Getting bored, Shane lifted himself up and moved closer to Ryan. He lifted up Ryan’s shirt and immediately began sucking his nipples, faster than Ryan could blink. The sensation felt fantastic, but Ryan was struck by how unfamiliar it was.

“Shane!” Ryan blushed. “What are you doing?”

Shane paused, looking up with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”

Ryan coughed, embarrassed. “Not really.”

“That’s what I thought.” Shane grinned. “I watched you realize you had a nipple kink on camera. I might as well use that knowledge for something.”

Ryan laughed. “You always find ways to surprise me, baby.” He inhaled sharply when Shane continued to lap his tongue around his nipple. It sent pangs of desire up Ryan’s body. He’d never felt anything like this before.

Shane used his other hand to twist Ryan’s other nipple. He did it softly at first, trying to see what Ryan could handle. When Ryan mewled, he quickly obeyed and touched the pointed buds with more pressure.

Ryan threw his head back in pleasure. He was jerking himself off now, going slow so that he’d be able to last longer. 

Biting his lip, Ryan pushed Shane off of him. He pulled at Shane’s belt until it came off before undoing the zipper of his pants. Pulling them down, he stared at the magnificent cock that was his to worship.

“Jesus,” he gasped.

“Shut up.” Shane blushed, looking away.

“You’re embarrassed?” Ryan scoffed. “If I had a dick like that I wouldn’t even bother to wear clothes. I’d just let it fly around.”

Shane sighed and silenced him with another kiss. Ryan let his pointer finger slide across the slit of Shane’s tip. He felt Shane inhale against him from how it felt. He carried on like this, pleased at the wetness that was beginning to seep out of it.

Ryan rubbed it with his thumb and covered it with the rest of his hand. He pulled away from the kiss to spit on his hand getting it lubricated until he was satisfied. Ryan started giving him a handjob right after. It was a bit clumsy at first, but he knew he was doing it right when Shane was groaning against him like he was in heat.

Shane broke away, wiping off the saliva that dribbled down the sides of his lips. He swiftly leaned over and grabbed the lube and condoms he had stashed in the front compartment. 

“Open your legs wide, baby.” Shane put a generous amount of lube in his hand and rubbed it all over his fingers.

Without hesitation, Ryan did as he asked. His breathing quickened as he watched Shane slowly move his pointer finger inside his asshole. 

It was odd. Ryan wasn’t sure if he liked it, really. The sensation was foreign and not something he was exactly crazy about.

“You okay, baby?” Shane prodded. “We can stop anytime, alright?”

“I’m alright.” Ryan felt Shane stop moving when his whole finger was in. He wanted Ryan to get used to it before going further. “... I trust you.”

It was dark, but Ryan still saw the adoring smile that broke out on Shane’s face when he said those words.

Shane gently added another finger. Ryan kept still, not wanting to ruin their fun. When Shane began moving, Ryan let himself wiggle around to get a better angle. 

Finally, before Ryan could even register it, Shane hit something in him that sent a tidal wave of pleasure against his spine. 

“Oh, god!” He exclaimed, jerking upwards and moaning.

Shane leaned closer to him and kissed the tip of his nose. “Does it feel good?”

“Fuck yeah,” he said. His own cock was getting harder and harder by the minute.

He couldn’t stop the moans coming out of his mouth when Shane quickened the pace. He sent Ryan to a world of bliss with every press against his prostate. Ryan couldn’t stop moaning his name, hoping that the pleasure would never end.

Eventually, Shane pulled out. Ryan whined. He was about ready to complain until he saw Shane squirt lube on his big fat cock. Shane got a condom and carefully placed it on himself. Ryan’s mouth watered and his heart pounded in anticipation. 

“Excited, aren’t we?” Shane laughed, amused at the way Ryan was staring at his member.

Ryan licked his lips. “Why don’t you give me a reason to be?”

That was all the prompting he needed. Shane positioned himself snugly between Ryan’s legs. He placed his tip against Ryan’s well-prepared asshole.

Shane paused, though. He looked up and Ryan with a warm expression. Ryan blushed and averted his gaze. Shane gave a soft chuckle and tenderly pressed his against the top of Ryan’s head before going back.

Slowly, Shane penetrated Ryan with his massive cock. Ryan squirmed beneath him, trying to not be overwhelmed by the size and the sensation. He steadied himself by putting his hands on Shane’s shoulders.

The two sighed when Shane was fully inside of Ryan. Although his asshole was filled to the brim, Ryan’s head was empty. Shane’s cock was perfectly rubbing against his prostate. It left his legs weak and his throat dry.

“Fuck!” Ryan couldn’t help but swear when Shane moved in and out. He was involuntarily clenching his hole, tightly clinging to Shane as much as he could.

“Damn, baby.” Shane inhaled. “You never told me how good you felt.”

“I didn’t want to spoil the surprise,” Ryan managed to say. “Move faster,” he told him. “I promise I can take it.”

“You promise?” Shane parroted easily. Ryan nodded eagerly.

Shane did as he was asked. He quickened the pace, not stopping when Ryan gasped in surprise. 

“You okay, Ry?” Shane asked worriedly, slowing down.

Ryan nodded. “I’m fine,” he said. “I want you to give me all of you.” He lightly traced a pattern on Shane’s shoulder as he said so.

Shane nodded and pounded inside of Ryan. He reveled in the wanton sounds that escaped past Ryan’s lips. It felt so good to be the cause of Ryan’s pleasure.

They remained like that for a while, with Shane relishing the tightness of Ryan’s virgin hole and Ryan gasping and whining beneath him. The car squeaked and moved along with their movements, adding to the lewdness of the whole situation.

“I’m coming,” Shane said. “I’m so close to coming, baby.”

“Do it inside me,” Ryan offered with red on his face. “And- and I wanna come with you.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Shane kissed Ryan’s forehead again and Ryan could only melt against the contact.

The uniform pace they had vanished when Shane began to erratically move himself. Ryan gasped in both pain and pleasure, trying to take in everything he could. Shane himself was breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead and onto Ryan’s skin.

With a few final thrusts, Shane came with Ryan following not too long after. Ryan marvelled at how his come had reached his chest. Shane pulled himself out and removed the condom from his body.

Before Shane could move any further, Ryan lunged at him and pulled him into a deep kiss. Shane, although surprised, melted into it quickly. He put his hands around Ryan’s waist and enjoyed the touch as much as he could.

When they were done, their gasping breaths cold against each other’s sweaty skin, they simply fell into a quiet embrace. Shane buried his head on Ryan’s soft hair while Ryan pressed his face against Shane’s red shoulder.

“I love you,” Ryan said softly.

Shane breathed him in. “I love you, too.”

***

“You know, there’s another bet going on about us.”

“Again?!” Ryan looked up from his computer, surprised.

“Yup.” Shane sat down next to him. “Apparently, the guys over at Watcher wanted to earn a buck or two.”

“You’re kidding.” Ryan deadpanned.

“I wish I were, baby.”

“What’s it about this time?”

“When and who’s going to propose.”

“Jesus!” Ryan laughed. “I think we pay them too much if they have this much disposable cash at hand.”

Shane ruffled his partner’s hair. “Oh, just let them have their fun.” He snickered. “I want to see Steven lose fifty bucks.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Fifty, eh? He’s feeling confident.”

“He said it’s because he won last time, he’ll win again this time.”

“Yeah, but he cheated.”

“The world is funny like that.”

The two continued bantering, forgetting about the world around them like they always did in each other’s presence.

Shane smiled softly at Ryan who returned the same expression. Ryan, it seemed, was content enough to stare into Shane’s eyes to the point that he didn’t notice the small black box that Shane was bringing out of his pocket.


End file.
